Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sneaky Like That

Yes, I kinda snuck that news sort of in there in between regular ho-hum, normal, everyday posts. Because that is how it is it seems in real life. It happened. It's there. But life is moving forward at on we go with a few less thousand tears and a whole lot more pain and one more cutie to meet when we get to heaven.

We were not exactly planning baby #2 like we had been with Laney when I was mapping out ovulation dates and logging my basal temperature everyday but were not avoiding it either. We wanted it to happen - would joke and nudge each other with the idea of it. Another baby. And then it happened! The shock, the excitement and happiness - and scariness - yup even with #2 you have that "oh sh@#" moment of "what have we done??" thought. :)

Had plans on a Thanksgiving announcement to the world that our little one would be becomming a big sister. That would have been a little early still yet - 10-12 weeks. With Laney we didn't tell everyone until 16 weeks.

I was checking out pinterest and Etsy and crafting up a cute "Big Sister" shirt. :( The shirt is still there - in my sewing corner, along with the piles of fabric that would/will make up the letters once cut out - and then will be sewn on with cute button embellishments.

We started having some issues at 6-7 weeks. About 4 days before our first scheduled appointment at the OB. At first I thought it was nothing to worry about - but the doctor wanted to see me anyways. I still refused to believe it was bad news - even with all the "I'm sorry's" from the nurses and staff. I kept thinking there was a chance - maybe it was early yet - that was why there was no fetal pole - maybe if I take the progestrone tablets my levels will rise to where they should be and all will be fine. My first set of numbers were optimistic - I even heard a glimmer of hope in the nurses voice.

But the second test - which I took Saturday but didn't get back until Monday was the final close. The numbers were dropping, not from there it was a series of blood draws and calls with the results until my numbers were back down where they wanted them to be. Such a painful, tortueous thing to have to go in every two days and relive it all over again and again - seeing happy, pregnant ladies in the hall - I was supposed to be one of them - and get stuck with a needle and just...ugh.

We were advised by the doctor to wait till I have one normal cycle before we attempt to try again...

Mommy and Daddy miss you very much little one!

1 comment:

BerryBird said...

Hi Stacy, I haven't blogged in forever, but still pop in occasionally. I have a little boy now just a month younger than your little darling. Anyway, I just wanted to de-lurk to say how truly sorry I am for your loss.