Thursday, April 7, 2011

High Need Baby

These articles are feeding my soul today....

Here is a clip from one:

High need babies crave touch: skin-to-skin contact in your arms, at your breasts, in your bed. They extract whatever physical contact they can from their caregivers. They also crave motion. Holding is not enough; the holder must keep moving. If the holder wants to sit down, it had better be on something that rocks, glides, or swings. This constant holding may be particularly difficult for new parents who expected to have the magazine model baby, the one who lies quietly in the crib gazing at expensive mobiles. This is not the play profile of the high need baby. Parents' arms and bodies are his crib; mother's breasts are his pacifier, and a bouncing lap is his chair. Most high need babies choose to upgrade their accommodations from the crib or playpen to the baby sling. They like to be worn many hours a day because they like the physical contact and they like to be up where the action is. Smart babies.

More clips I love:

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I was so tired of hearing the term "good baby." According to the norms of the neighborhood, my baby wasn't "good." I then decided that a baby is "good" when he cries and lets you know what he needs. (In other words, all babies are "good.") That really put a new perspective on fussy babies for me. They cry more because they need more.
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My advice to parents is that if you had a sick child you would give that child the care that it needed; so if you have a high need child, give her the extra attention she needs. She needs it for a reason.
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Once I learned that she has high needs for a developmental reason, it was easier for me to respond accordingly.

Loves to be around people, noise and activity

While some high need babies do best in quiet, calm environments, what I hear from many, many parents is that their baby actually prefers being in crowds, surrounded by people and activity. They may cry and fuss significantly more in the quiet of their own homes. The activity and drone of crowds or traffic seem to soothe them, and they may even fall asleep. Friends and family may not believe your stories of crying and fussing because these babies appear so easy-going and content when in public.

Thank goodness for baby bjorn and white noise soundtracks!


Rosemarie said...

That last comment you highlighted is SO TRUE! When I complain about Wes fussing, my family says, "What, he's so good!" Because he loves activity, noise, action, people. He gets bored at home (which is why I do a lot of activity with him and bring him places all the time). But I wouldn't consider that high need, I just say he likes people and activity. I never labeled him high need because I have nothing to compare him to. I don't expect to lie him in a crib and have him stare at things. Are there babies that do that?

Stacy said...

Haha! No I def don't think babies should just lie in their crib and stare at things. I love Dr. Sears and when I read those articles and his book it just really resonated with what we are experiencing.

Rosemarie said...

Not but I think there are parents out there who expect that! And my grandparents kept telling us not to hold him too much or we'll spoil him (when he was 4 days old!). Can you believe that!

Stacy said...

Yes, I get those little "she's spoiled" or whatever about me holding her alot from older family members. Kinda makes me sad - it's def not spoiling - oy!

mama hope said...

Just found your blog from surfing the web for info from other parents of high need kids. :) It's great to know we are not alone in our parenting adventure! I have a blog too if you're interested: